Monday, July 6, 2009

Jesus, I might have asthma

Thanks to the vast amounts of information available on the internets, self-diagnosis is much easier than reading medical jargon in huge textbooks. It's also a lot less accurate. It's pretty easy to scare yourself into thinking you have cancer because your tongue was hurting this morning.

Yesterday I rode my bike up a long, gradual hill. It was hard, I'm not going to lie. I nearly fell over, and apparently I was grunting and wailing quite a bit because at the top I realized we were beside a golf course and there were three men standing right there staring at me. As it happened, as soon as I stopped at the top of the hill, I suffered an immense wheezing attack. I. could. not. breathe. It was rather terrifying, to be honest. It lasted a good few minutes, and then I got back on my bike to ride home. This probably doesn't sound like a good idea (because it wasn't), but we were pretty far from home and walking in cycling shoes is not my idea of a good time. Walking for an hour in cycling shoes would have put me in tears. So, I got back on my bike, coasted down a few hills, pedalled easily on the flats.

Then, there was a small hill. I said screw it, I'm fine, and rode up it no problem. Good. Then there was another hill. I said screw it, I was fine on the last one, and rode up it. I started coasting down the other side, and Wheeze McWheezerton came around to visit again. Fucking prick. So, I stopped and walked up the next hill (it's very hilly around here, I may have mentioned this before), and then rode the rest of the way home.

Based on my sleuthing skills, I believe I might have exercise induced asthma. My dad has allergies, as does my sister, and my youngest sister had asthma as a baby, so the whole thing runs in my family. I've experienced the wheezing and difficulty breathing before while running, but not while biking. The intensity of biking is normally much lower.

I sure wish my benefits would kick in so I could get my ass to a doctor. So, you know, I don't die. I like to avoid dying as much as I can. In fact, I've sort of dedicated my life to it.



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