Monday, September 28, 2009


I complained last night about my last week of work being awful. And it was, it was horrid.

This morning I walked into my building to find out the water heater on the third floor broke/exploded/committed suicide last night, and there was water everywhere. Our lab, which is a clean room, is useless. One of the upstairs offices looks like Mike Holmes took a sledgehammer to it and then left.

So, my job description now involves simply cleaning. A lot of cleaning. And repairing. And praying.

Mother. Mother fuck.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


I realized I haven't posted any sort of update recently, despite the fact that quite a lot of shit has gone down recently that sort of changed things. I mentioned most of these events as potentials in earlier posts, and then never elaborated. I should be making cookies right now and not writing this, so I will make it short.

1. I bought a car about a month ago. A 2010 Toyota Matrix. It's white and I had the windows tinted and a sunroof installed and it's the sexiest beast on the road. Also, two days after I picked it up, I allowed Andrew to drive it, and he hit the biggest motherfucking raccoon that has ever walked the planet and cracked my fucking bumper and I didn't talk to him for a few days but that is another post all in itself. I would have pictures of the car, but it broke before I had the chance. I'm not bitter.

2. We're probably getting a puppy. A golden lab. Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe. I'm very excited.

3. Andrew finished a half Ironman. For real. For those of you who don't know, a half Ironman is a 2 km swim followed by an ass-raping 90 km bike ride and then to finish off your self-flagellation, a half marathon, or 21 km, run. It was in Huntsville and the weather was perfect and I have hundreds of pictures but I haven't transferred any to the computer yet.

4. My job has kicked my ass to Jupiter the past few weeks. A couple weeks ago we had an ISO audit, which was stressful, but fine. Then shortly after, everything started tanking in that the other lab tech was in a car accident last Friday and didn't come to work Monday and let me tell you, shit went south really fast. I got into work and one of our batches had failed a QC test so I had to remake it by myself. It also happened to be the largest mother effing batch we had ever made ever, so I was at work extra super-size free refill late. Tuesday and Wednesday I was at work half an hour late both days for differing reasons, then Thursday another fucking batch failed testing so we had to make it again and Jesus Fuck, I am so exhausted.

I can elaborate more on these points later. I may not. For now, it is time for sweet sweet lovin' with the television.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Are you happy with your long distance service?

Saturday night slash Sunday morning, I was snoozing away as usual when my phone rang. I picked it up. The clock said 2:36 am, and it was a private number. I did not answer it because I don't make a habit of talking to incredibly rude people that I don't know.

About 15 seconds later, my phone rings again. This time, I grab it and angrily answer, "Hello?"

There is a 6 or 7 second moment of silence that indicates the caller is a telemarketer who called me not once, but twice. At 2:36 in the morning.

A man says to me, "Hello?"

I say, "It's fucking 2:30 in the morning!"

I know that I actually said that, word for word, because I immediately felt my heart start racing at the thought that I just used the eff word in a conversation with a telemarketer. I live dangerously.

I wait for his reply. After a moment it comes: "Hello?"

I say, "Don't call me again" and hang up.

He didn't call me again.

It took me an hour and a half to fall asleep again, and I think it took Andrew about the same time.

Oh and also, it was the night before Andrew was running a half Ironman. I've heard sleep isn't all that important for that anyway.

Monday, September 7, 2009

La la la, la la la, la la laaa, la la la

Our neighbour Gary just brought us a bottle of wine for cutting his grass for him, and now I am a tad bit tipsy. You wouldn't believe the typing errors I am making.

We are thinking quite seriously about getting a dog. A vizsla. One of these ones specifically:

This breed is reportedly incredibly active, requiring at least 7 hours of good exercise a week. That works out to about an hour a day, for those of you with your fingers out. Since both Andrew and I are pretty active people, and we love being outside, this dog would be perfect for us.

I want one quite badly. We've been talking to a breeder who has a puppy available right now, so I guess we'll see if that pans out.

Wow, I'm really quite drunk. How embarrassing.

Anyway, that's what's been going on around here. I had a lovely long weekend. Yesterday was Andrew's birthday, I made him a beautiful chocolate/caramel tart with come dark chocolate ganache topping, it's pretty effing fabulous. It tastes rather like Cadbury cream eggs, which are a guilty pleasure of mine. No pictures though :( There were mini sparklers and everything.

I am supposed to be going for a run today. I should go sober up. Or something.


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