The taste is gonna move ya

I've been feeling rather blah the past few days. I've been falling asleep early at night, getting up at the same time, and feeling generally shitty all day. I think it's the "malaise" I read about in Immunology. I've almost got the feeling of a building migraine, but not quite. I'm probably dying.

On that note, I was reading Jenny's blog because I like to stalk people on the internet, and she had an interesting alphabetical list of things she likes, one for each letter. Due to the fact that I am a latent kleptomaniac, I'm pilfering this idea.

An Alphabet of Things I Love
by Marsha Greer

A - A. The song by The Barenaked Ladies, which basically is just about a lot of things that start with the letter "A": "A is arousal you are giving me an arection come on I'm trying to show affection for longer than a half an hour...". And so on. I love them immensely, and was terribly saddened when I found out Stephen Page was a douchebag coke addict. I hate their recent albums, coincidentally, so their break up didn't really faze me. This song was from an older, amazing album, and this band basically defined my high school existence, because I was incredibly cool in high school.

B - BIOLOGY. Not that pussy ecology shit either. I like the hardcore molecular biology, the proteins, the DNA, the cells. I could live off of cell bio. Evolution would be pretty substantial in slaking my appetite as well, though I don't know as much about it as I'd like.

C - CLEANING. It's a task for which you can visually track the progress you've made, it's simple, and it's satisfying.

D - DRIVING. Despite the fact that I have a 40 minute commute to work every day, I still love driving. I've loved it since the first time my mom let me sit behind the wheel of the old 95 Mercury Villager and cruise down the street and around the corner to my aunt's house. If you love driving while you're sitting in your family minivan beside your very anxious mom who is screaming at you to PUT MORE PRESSURE ON THE BRAKES, DON'T PUT SO MUCH FAITH ON THE BRAKES, YOU HAVE TO START BRAKING SOONER, you love driving for life.

E - ELEPHANTS. The elephant has been my favourite animal since long before I can remember. They're strong, intelligent, and the most dangerous animal at the zoo. Elephants and I have these things in common.

F - FALL. It's my favourite season. I love the crisp air, and the relief it brings after a long hot summer. I love the colours, the smell, and the feel of it. This year is a bit different, since we haven't had a bloody summer yet at all, but generally speaking, autumn is the best.

G - GOSSIPING. Because it makes me feel better about myself.

H - HAY. My sisters and I used to spend our summer sundays horsing around in the hay mow. It was awesome fun. In the winter, my younger sister and I would jump around on the hay bales. One time, I fell in between them, through some snow I had thought was solid. That was a terrifying experience, I don't recommend that to young children. I love the smell of hay, it reminds me of happy times.

I - IMAGINATION. I have a wild one, as evidenced by my persistent fear of the dark that is only reinforced every time I catch myself remembering any one of the myriad of scary stories I read as a kid. I was a dumb kid. But, I do love just sitting and daydreaming, and imagining how this world could be slightly different and all the different permutations that could be possible.

J - JAMIE OLIVER. He's taught me a lot of things about food, and life, and swearing. I buy free range eggs because of him. If he ever cooked me dinner, I would never eat again just to preserve that memory in my mouth.

K - KEGELS. If you're not doing them, you're missing out.

L - LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE. I have no explanation for this. I'm simply drawn to them.

M - MASHED POTATOES. With butter, and cream cheese, and milk, and garlic, and chives, and maybe some cheese. It's the key to my heart.

N - NERDS. We get along.

O - OVEREATING. When it's good food, I will eat a lot of it. I have the body of a skinny person, but my arteries are likely comparable to those of a 68 year old morbidly obese sedentary monk.

P - PUZZLES. I'm pretty good at jigsaw puzzles, and I used to love putting them together. There was a slew of Christmases and birthdays for which I got a 3D puzzle as my main gift, and that was perfectly fine with me. I like crossword puzzles too, and Sudoku, and anything that requires one to Figure Stuff Out.

Q - QUILTS. I like making quilts, and having quilts, and curling up under quilts. I made a spectacular quilt out of old t-shirts and fabric scraps and lace and ribbon once. It is by far the greatest item I have ever created.

R - RUNNING. I have a love/hate relationship with it, but for some reason I always end up going back. I hate it because it hurts. It hurts a lot, and in a lot of places. I love it because it hurts. It removes all thought from your head; it's an incredible stress reliever. It's the one thing I can do where I can accept the pain and work with it, rather than trying to fight it. It makes me feel powerful, and weak.

S - SARCASM. The drier the better.

T - THONGS. Lacy and cute are the best. La Senza is my friend. The $25 for 5 pair deal that they always have on has pretty much fed my addiction.

U - ULULATING. Because who doesn't love a little ululating for the morning battle?

V - VIZSLAS. I want one. Or two. Or seven.

W - WIDE OPEN SPACES. I am a country girl. I have never, do not currently, and will not in the future feel comfortable in a city. I grew up in a house in the country, surrounded by farms and fields and the scent of fresh manure in the air, and that is where my heart will always be.

X - X-FILES, THE. My number one favourite show of all time. The dynamics of the relationship between Mulder and Scully plus the show's ability to scare the bleeding pulp out of me caught me in its trap and never let go.

Y - YAMS. Oh, yam fries, you are so delicious. Sweet potato soup is divine. The mixture of my beloved potato with a sweet, sweet flavour slays me.

Z - ZINFANDEL. The wines made from these grapes are very yummy.

And now you know me a little bit more than you did before.

I may have broken the osmometer

Stay tuned.

ETA: Nope! The osmometer, lovingly nicknamed "Hitler", is not broken. I just beat the piss out of it. A little.

Zing

I'm not married, not in any legal sense of the term at least. When one has been with the same person for well over 5 years, however, a ring doesn't really make that much of a difference - except when it comes to taxes.

I've known Andrew's mom since high school. She's perfectly fine, as people go, she's nice, and generous, and has never been anything but gracious towards me. I'm sure she talks about me to other people, and is not necessarily gracious then, but we won't go into that now.

I was reading this article on relationships with in-laws. The following quote actually made me guffaw. Yeah you heard me. Guffaw.

"An Italian study, for instance, done by the National Statistics Institute, found that the odds that a marriage will last increase with every hundred yards that couples put between themselves and their in-laws. Italian courts found this evidence so compelling that they have ruled that a wife has the right to a legal separation if her husband is not effective in preventing his mother from "invading" their home, Apter says."

Italy is pretty far from here. It sounds like a nice place to live.

Today, I hate my uterus

The end.

Jesus, I might have asthma

Thanks to the vast amounts of information available on the internets, self-diagnosis is much easier than reading medical jargon in huge textbooks. It's also a lot less accurate. It's pretty easy to scare yourself into thinking you have cancer because your tongue was hurting this morning.

Yesterday I rode my bike up a long, gradual hill. It was hard, I'm not going to lie. I nearly fell over, and apparently I was grunting and wailing quite a bit because at the top I realized we were beside a golf course and there were three men standing right there staring at me. As it happened, as soon as I stopped at the top of the hill, I suffered an immense wheezing attack. I. could. not. breathe. It was rather terrifying, to be honest. It lasted a good few minutes, and then I got back on my bike to ride home. This probably doesn't sound like a good idea (because it wasn't), but we were pretty far from home and walking in cycling shoes is not my idea of a good time. Walking for an hour in cycling shoes would have put me in tears. So, I got back on my bike, coasted down a few hills, pedalled easily on the flats.

Then, there was a small hill. I said screw it, I'm fine, and rode up it no problem. Good. Then there was another hill. I said screw it, I was fine on the last one, and rode up it. I started coasting down the other side, and Wheeze McWheezerton came around to visit again. Fucking prick. So, I stopped and walked up the next hill (it's very hilly around here, I may have mentioned this before), and then rode the rest of the way home.

Based on my sleuthing skills, I believe I might have exercise induced asthma. My dad has allergies, as does my sister, and my youngest sister had asthma as a baby, so the whole thing runs in my family. I've experienced the wheezing and difficulty breathing before while running, but not while biking. The intensity of biking is normally much lower.

I sure wish my benefits would kick in so I could get my ass to a doctor. So, you know, I don't die. I like to avoid dying as much as I can. In fact, I've sort of dedicated my life to it.